Do you often rummage through your significant other’s stuff?
So, what could possibly be the source of such nonsense, er, behavior?
Is there a factor of insecurity or distrust at play here?
Or perhaps you have had troubled relationships in the past, or you have heard stories about betrayal from other people.

You and your partner may have been through a rough patch, but you may now be under the impression that things have improved.
However, your unease persists, and you start to wonder.
You can’t seem to shut your mind off.
You try to control your emotions, but you end up acting like Inspector Gadget instead.
Can I go on a Snoop?
So, let’s have a chat about this.

Exploring your partner’s belongings without his knowledge is a highly inappropriate and invasive act.
But do you feel guilty about it?
Do I dare respond?
Do you ever feel bad about wanting to do something you know you shouldn’t?
As a result, you sort through his belongings with only half your attention.
And the whole time you’re doing it, you’re terrified you’ll stumble upon something or get caught.

Your mind immediately jumps to how you would react if you did happen to find something.
Which direction should you go in next?
Toss his wallet or not?
His back pocket and underwear drawer?
Don’t you want to take a whiff of his clothes, look at his car, and examine his phone?
Or perhaps his phone is locked and you cannot access it.
Don’t you know the password?
I don’t mean to start anything off by saying this.

Possessing intimate contact information, such as a partner’s phone or email

Just kidding, we’d all love it if our significant others left their phones unlocked and lying around so we could scroll through their messages.
Some partners are so brave that they actually do leave their phones sitting idle.
(But isn’t it nice when partners share a level of trust, or should I say a relationship, where having access to each other’s phones is neither a discussion nor a problem?)
Not sure if some partners intentionally leave their phones unguarded when they leave or if it’s just a habit.
Does the fact that his phone is never far from his side indicate any cause for alarm?
That’s not necessarily true either; it all comes down to your man’s behaviors.

Having access to your partner’s phone is not required.
We know our partner’s phone is a conduit to others and a diary, but it still causes us anxiety at times.
If your phone is disabled and you have an emergency, you may need access.
Or, if you need to call his mother and don’t have her number, but don’t trust him enough to look through his phone, you can use it to retrieve that information.
Do you really need to know who he’s been communicating with and what he’s been up to via email?
That’s none of anyone else’s business but his, right?

Your relationship may suffer additional damage if you snore.

If you’re feeling apprehensive or uncertain, dig into the why.
When you snoop around, you won’t find any answers.
It’s tempting to try to solve the problem by sneaking around, but it won’t work.
My apologies for bursting your happy little bubble.
Don’t bottle up your emotions; doing so will only make the situation worse and label you a professional snooper.

And if your partner finds out you’ve been playing TSA, he may feel betrayed.
Also, that could backfire, making him distrust you even more.
Is that not so?
Perhaps he thinks you’re crossing a line and is consequently upset by your actions.
Now you have to justify your decision to inspect his stuff on your own dime to him.
It’s not worth it to have to resort to fanoogle your way out of this jam.
Over time, you’ll both stop paying attention to the underlying issue.

In a committed partnership, both partners deserve some personal space.

Marital or romantic commitment does not confer upon its members an automatic right to full access to one another’s private property.
It’s true that people are entitled to some level of seclusion.
If you want to look through your partner’s stuff, you need to have a conversation and get their permission first.
What if the roles were reversed and he was the one snooping around in your stuff?
Even if there is nothing to hide or if you don’t care, you should still be careful.
No, I don’t think you’d enjoy that.

If you’re a woman and you’re getting the conversation that something is off, it’s best to talk to your partner about your concerns.
However, I am aware that for some of us, the reality is that we have tried to have a sit-down talk with a disloyal partner in the past and it did not work.
If, after talking to your partner several times, you still have suspicions, you are certain that something is going on, and you absolutely have to know the details, then snooping is the only option left.

How do I prevent nosing around?

My husband and I keep in touch.
Regularly checking in discourages nosy visitors.
When I say “check in,” we have serious talks about our bond.
It helps to check in with my partner on occasion and share openly with them about how I am doing.
Knowing this can be a great aid in avoiding the use of such nonsense.

To reassure myself, I remember that I do believe in him, and that we are taking the necessary steps to ensure our relationship succeeds.
For the time being, I have no reason to pry into his affairs.
In addition, he is a trustworthy individual.
Thus, the problem is not with him but with me.
It was those unhealthy connections that taught me to doubt the intentions of others.

No matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to make certain problems disappear quickly enough.
Even though I try not to (not that that’s an excuse), I occasionally engage in some harmless snooping.
For example, ladies, in previous relationships I even checked the mileage of cars.
That’s what happens when you’re in a toxic relationship.
They are meant to impart knowledge and intelligence, not paranoia and a touch of insanity.
The important thing is to remember to keep the craziness in check.

If you don’t look for something, you won’t find it.
Well, if it weren’t there to find, I wouldn’t know where to look, I reply.
Alright, that’s not the right course of action.
However, remember that while snooping, you might stumble upon some things you aren’t prepared to handle.

The truth is that neither you nor I have the right to snoop unless we address the emotions that are driving your intrusive behavior.
It’s true that we won’t be encouraging any particular behaviors, but we’ll always be forthright.
Let’s ditch the snooping and focus on talking to one another instead.

Thank you for reading, friends.

Do you pry?