It Is Okay When Others Do Not Find You Interesting

Are you having trouble finding new friends or meeting new people?

Maybe you feel like no one finds you interesting. Or maybe you don’t want to talk to anyone because they seem boring.

The problem might be that you are too focused on being interesting…

First, Don’t Be Boring

Conversations are easy to start, but hard to maintain. If you want to make sure yours stays interesting, here are some tips to help you avoid being boring.

The Most Captivating People Are Often Good Listeners

Listening is underrated. We often focus too much on our own thoughts and opinions. But we shouldn’t forget about listening. In fact, it’s one of the most important skills you can develop. Here are some ways to improve your ability to listen well.

  • Pay attention to body language. If someone seems nervous or uncomfortable, try to figure out why. Is there something wrong? Has he been hurt? Does she feel like sharing her story? Try to understand people without judging them.
  • Focus on the person speaking. When you’re listening, don’t look around the room. Look directly into the speaker’s eyes. This helps you read his emotions and gauge whether he’s being honest or dishonest.
  • Give people space to talk. You might want to ask follow up questions later, but give them enough time to tell their stories.
  • Make eye contact. Eye contact helps people connect emotionally. It makes us feel valued. And it lets us know that we matter.
  • Smile. Smiling is contagious. So make sure you smile while you listen.
  • Give people your full attention. Don’t multitask. Instead, focus on the person speaking.

Talk About The Other Person’s Interests

When we talk about ourselves, we tend to focus on our strengths and weaknesses. This makes us look good because we’re highlighting the things we do well. But it doesn’t help us understand others very well. Instead, try asking questions about the other person’s interests. You might find that they are just as passionate about something else as you are.

Ask Questions About Their Interests

People like talking about themselves. So ask questions about what they enjoy, and see how much information they give away. For example, say “What do you like most about being married?” Then listen carefully to the answer. If you don’t know where to start, here are some great questions to ask:

  1. What do you enjoy most about being married?
  2. What do you dislike most about being married? Why?
  3. How did you meet your spouse?
  4. Who introduced you to each other?

Have Three Good Stories

Comedian Jim Gaffigan always has three jokes he performs before his standup sets. He says it helps him relax and prepare for the show. “I’m just trying to make sure I’ve got something funny,” Gaffigan told Business Insider. “You never know what you’re gonna do.”

Gaffigan tells audiences to think about how they’ll tell their story. “Don’t talk about yourself,” he advises. “Talk about someone else. Talk about somebody else’s life.”

He adds: “If there’s one thing I learned, it’s that every person has a story to tell. And most people don’t want to hear yours.”

Don’t Forget Charisma

People don’t remember what you say, they remember how you make them feel. This is especially true when it comes to salespeople. A study published in the Journal of Consumer Research found that people remembered the voice tone and body language of a person better than the actual words spoken.

This finding suggests that we’re far more likely to remember the way someone makes us feel than the exact things he or she says. So how do you convey charisma without saying anything?

The answer lies in the power of voice tone and body language. When you speak, you use your entire body to communicate emotion. Your face, eyes, hands, arms, legs, feet – everything communicates something about you. And because our brains process information based on feelings rather than facts, you’ll find yourself remembering the way you felt around certain people.

Voice tone and body language aren’t just important for selling; they’re essential for making friends, too. In fact, research shows that being charismatic isn’t easy. You must master several skills to become charismatic.

Be aware of your own emotions. If you want to be charismatic, you must understand your own emotional state. For example, if you’re feeling angry, you might yell at others. But if you’re feeling happy, you might smile at others.

Know your audience. Before speaking, think about whom you’re talking to. Are they young or old? Male or female? Rich or poor? Do they like sports or politics? Once you know your audience, you can adjust your behavior accordingly.

Speak slowly. Slow speech is easier to listen to and helps you connect emotionally with others.

Be Somewhere Interesting

We don’t realize how much emotion comes out of our surroundings. In fact, we often take it for granted. But there are some places that just make you feel better than others. Here are six places where you might want to hang out.

  • A park
  • A beach
  • An art gallery
  • A museum
  • A coffee shop
  • Your living room

And Most Importantly: Live An Interesting Life

The world is full of fascinating people. Some are famous, some are infamous, some are just plain weird. But there are many others whose stories we don’t know. Here are seven ways you can spend your life doing something interesting.

Travel

Traveling broadens our perspective of the world around us. We learn about other cultures, languages, and lifestyles. It helps us understand how other people think and live. When we travel, we make friends with strangers.

Start A Business

Starting a business gives us control over our lives. If we’re good at what we do, we’ll eventually build up enough money to buy a house, start a family, and retire.

Learn Something New

Learning something new makes us smarter. Whether it’s learning a language, playing an instrument, or taking up a sport, each new skill builds upon the previous one.