How To Get A Guy To Chase You

Key Takeaways:

  • Maintain mystery
  • Play hard to get
  • Don't be too available
  • Keep him on his toes
  • Have fun and enjoy yourself

For many years, I wasted a lot of time pursuing men and trying to make them like me when they didn’t. How awful it felt. My self-esteem and confidence both took major hits after each rejection. When I called guys first, asked them out, and seemed interested, I had no idea what I was doing wrong.

I had no idea that learning to make him chase you was such an integral part of the dating and relationship-finding process until it was too late.

When I tried to take the lead in my interactions with men, things always went horribly wrong. The heartbreak continued until I realized that men are wired differently than women.

Having a man chase you is not a good idea

When I say that men are hunters who enjoy the chase, some people get defensive. I can see why, too. I may appear to be making a derogatory remark. The phrase “the chase,” gives the impression that I’m saying women shouldn’t be interested in men.

Men are always making sweeping claims about how much they would love it if the woman they had feelings for, expressed an interest in them. They’re telling the truth here. Male attraction necessitates two things: sexual attraction and effort, but female attraction only necessitates the latter.

If a man isn’t sexually attracted to you, he won’t make an effort to pursue you. In all likelihood, you will have enthralling discussions that will go on for hours. It’s possible that you and your partner will engage in sexual activity. He may have “real potential” in your eyes, and you may fall hopelessly in love with him. If he doesn’t find you sexually attractive, the relationship can only remain platonic at best.

The second, more nuanced but no less important, aspect of this formula is that masculine energy thrives when it’s actively working toward a goal. Relationship success is traditionally seen as a male domain. To succeed in pleasing a woman is to achieve. So is “bringing home the bacon.” or popping the question.

Early in a relationship, a man’s success is measured by his ability to win his date over with little gestures of interest. Even small successes in a dating relationship, such as “getting a number,” “getting a woman to text/call back,” and “she agreed to a date” are worthy of recognition.

This is why guys sometimes give each other high-fives at bars after securing a woman’s contact information. They succeeded at something, even if only marginally. I’ve never had a competition with my gal pals to see how many dude’s numbers we can gather in one night. There’s a good chance you haven’t either.

The issue with pursuing males is this.

The hot pursuit method is generally effective in today’s society. Interested in working there? Look for work, or make your own way. Interested in purchasing that home? Put the money aside and treat yourself. Need that guy? This is where things start to get complicated.

It’s easy to believe that we can control our romantic partners the same way we control everything else in our lives. A Herculean effort, to be specific. Not only does going all out fail to produce results, but it’s also a surefire way to completely undermine your efforts.

Pursuing men is ineffective because they are not interested in being pursued. If you walk up to him, tell him he’s hot, and then demand a meeting with him next Tuesday at 8 o’clock in the evening while shoving your business card in his face, he will not be able to accomplish anything. None of this is a puzzle. You’ve taken on more masculine social roles recently.

Two, you immediately dive into “here’s why you should like me” territory, which is a surefire recipe for rejection when pursuing men. The vulnerability and neediness that you’re projecting through your passive surrender of control are off-putting.

Here’s how to make him chase after you:

1. Don’t make your plans dependent on him

Keep doing what you’ve been doing, and don’t change anything about your day because you think you should stop and spend time with him.

Don’t neglect yourself by forgoing your regular workouts or time for self-care just because he’s in the picture.

Correct method: don’t give off the impression that you’re too busy for him at all times. Make it seem like you were able to carve out a few minutes of your day specifically for him by finding a way to spend a few minutes with him during your busy schedule. Don’t suddenly give up on your goals, hobbies, or anything else to make him your sole focus.

2. Take advantage of your inherent attractiveness as a woman

Since you’re a woman, he can’t help but notice you, but you still need to catch his interest without going to excessive effort.

To demonstrate your feminine energy, consider how you respond to his advances when you are joyful, playful, flirtatious, and receptive. He should try to get more of your time and focus, and you should give in and enjoy it.

The proper response is not to accept every invitation. You should give in to a man’s advances when he shows interest by making consistent efforts to get to know you better and possibly dating you. Coerce him to conform to your schedule and goals while you carry on with your own.

3. Get him to consider you

Before parting ways with him for the day or night, leave him with a lasting impression so that he can’t help but think about you.

Make sure you’re the one to give him the last kiss of the night before you part ways on a date, so that he can’t help but fantasize about the next time he gets to feel your lips again.

The proper approach is to not go overboard by, for example, getting intimate with him before you’re ready or giving in to all of his demands. Don’t let him convince you to do anything you’re not sure you want to, and give yourself some room to use your imagination.

4. Don’t give up hope; he will come after you when he’s the one

If a man doesn’t make the first move, take it as a polite “no” or “not right now” and relax. If he doesn’t like you or isn’t interested in getting to know you, he won’t pursue you.

The right man will come for you at the right time if you believe in yourself and manifest him. This man will come after you if he decides you’re desirable.

The proper approach is to not exhaust all possible means of making him pursue you. There isn’t much you can do on a spiritual level to make someone chase you. Time will eventually pass and that will occur.

5. Exude mystique

Let go of the need to justify your relationship or your existence. That’s something he’ll have to figure out for himself, and if he’s truly interested, he’ll be the one asking you questions to help him along. The one you’re meant for will be completely enamored and unable to fathom life without you.

Don’t talk about your dating rules or why the two of you would be a good match when he asks what you usually do on dates. Instead, you should give him a partial response to his question so that if he’s truly interested in you, he’ll come after you and try to figure out who you are.

If you want to do it right, don’t give him empty answers. Skipping over a question or moving on to a new topic without being asked could come across as odd and suspicious.

6. Create something fun to do together

Explore potential shared interests by doing things like starting a new Netflix show or playing a game. Affect his memory of you in such a way that he will contact you the next time he has the urge to engage in such behavior.

Plan a date based on a shared interest, such as playing a game or attending a trivia night. If you’d rather stay in, you could even send each other personalized memes.

What not to do: Constantly texting or calling him to hang out whenever you want to do something similar with him, or sending too many memes. Allow him to be the one who realizes how much he means to you.

7. I suggest you send him a sexually suggestive message or photo

If you casually send him some flirty texts or even a sexy picture, he will think of you and want to see you again.

Put on something cute to wear and maybe some makeup, and let him know via picture or text that you’re feeling cute today.

Don’t go overboard by sending nudes or sexts, as this could lead to a more casual relationship, which may not be what you’re looking for.

8. Stay away from any communication with him

In some cases, even though it’s the oldest trick in the book, it can prove successful. Let the guy you’ve been on a date with who you’re feeling pretty strongly for do the chasing the next time around if you want to keep things going.

When he texts you or you go out on a date, don’t text him right afterward. If he’s interested in continuing the conversation and getting to know you, he’ll text you back once he realizes you didn’t respond.

If you want to avoid him thinking you are ghosting him, don’t let too much time pass between texts. You should wait for him to text you back before responding. You can assume there isn’t much of a spark if he doesn’t text back the first time.

9. Try to give him something he hasn’t experienced before

Plan your next date, or even your first date, around asking him about something he’s never done before.

As an illustration, you could ask him what he has never done or tried before, and then base your date around that. If he’s never had sushi before, take him out for his first time so he has a memorable first impression of you both at a sushi restaurant.

The key to success is to avoid doing anything that will push things to an uncomfortable extreme, such as taking his virginity. I’m sure you don’t want to be a part of a significant memory that he will carry with him forever if things take a turn for the worse.

10. Avoid attempting to label your connection right away

You can’t expect a relationship from every guy you meet, so it’s important to know what you want before you start dating. If you want to see where things go, there’s no harm in keeping things light at first.

If he asks, it’s fine to tell him what you want, but it’s also important to stress that you’re not looking to force him to label the relationship too soon.

If things become too casual in the relationship, it’s important to let him know that you weren’t looking for a serious commitment. Therefore, if he doesn’t want things to get serious, you should leave while you still can.

I used to think it was confident, rather than needy, to show a man obvious interest by advancing the conversation. Upon further investigation, I came to the conclusion that my desire for the guy to pursue and show interest in me was the driving force behind my “needy” actions. My day always went downhill if a man rejected me.

Rare and expensive items tend to be highly sought after.

And sweetie, you’re not exactly endearing as you bombard his phone with calls and fawn all over him to get a date or confirmation that he wants you. It was like coming off “man drugs” all at once when I finally gave up the chase. When I finally gave up smoking, I noticed a dramatic improvement in the caliber of the men who started pursuing me.

You have to relax your defenses and give him the opportunity to pursue you in order to make him miss you. That’s how you know he misses you and values your friendship enough to want to make an effort to see and talk to you.

You’ll be fresh in his mind when he realizes you didn’t respond to his text because you weren’t the first.

If you keep hovering over him with your hands on your hips, wondering if he loves you yet, he won’t have the chance to develop strong feelings for you. You should make him dependent on you.